Saturday, December 19, 2009

Rolling Stone's Year End Lists

Ah, 'tis the season. 'Tis the season where my dumbass school has final exams until Monday the 21st. Yeah. The last day is a Monday. They started last Monday with Western Civ exams for Freshmen and Sophomores, but naturally didn't continue again until Wednesday. What the EFF?! Why in all that is holy would you have students stay over an extra weekend just for one more freaking day of exams? That's so useless. If you simply continued them on that Tuesday instead of having a damn day off, everyone could have an early vacation. Instead, you gotta be an asshole. Merry freakin' Christmas.

Also, 'tis the season for all these year end (and decade end) music lists. Because my favorite band just happens to be U2, and I'm sure they're at least ONE of yours, here's where U2 ranked in Rolling Stone's various lists:

#1 Album of 2009: No Line on the Horizon
A return in some ways to the more experimental side of U2 that came to define them in the 1990s, although in a much less noticeable way, at least at first glance. Key songs to listen to: the title track, Moment of Surrender, White as Snow, & Breathe. And if you're feeling very adventurous, check out the most "out there" song on the album, Fez-Being Born--some great moments there. Here's a 10-minute video showing the stage construction, the band's reactions seeing it for the first time (funny), and highlights of the new songs live from opening night (they take the stage 3 minutes in if you wanna skip to that part).

#1 Song of 2009: Moment of Surrender
They deemed it "The most devastating ballad U2 - or anyone - has delivered since 'One'." I'd say that's pretty high praise. This song, admittedly, took a while to grow on me, but after 3-4 listens, it becomes such a powerful, moving song. I hope you have the patience to sit down and listen to it a few times. Incredible. When (if?) I write my "No Line..." album review on year on in March, I'll explain just how great this song is. It began as kind of a dull, unconventional song for me upon first listen, but has since become my favorite song on the album.

#68 Album of the Decade: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Actually one of my least favorite of U2's albums. In terms of the concept of an "album" the parts are greater than the sum, which is unfortunate. Still, tracks like Vertigo continue to grow and get stronger and more powerful in a live context. Here is a rough-cut live version from the YouTube broadcast from the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. The end is ballin'! (I had to embed it because there's no video online, so I had to take the video I downloaded a few months ago, split the track, export it, and put it on here. So ya best appreciate it!)





City of Blinding Lights is a standout song, in which Bono looks back on his childhood, lamenting the loss of innocence (Time won't leave me as I am, but time won't take the boy out of this man). Also, the icy notes of Miracle Drug, the incredibly personal aura of Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own makes this work the most U2-ey of their releases.

#36 Album of the Decade: No Line on the Horizon

#13 Album of the Decade: All That You Can't Leave Behind
This is sort of a refresher album after the experimental '90s period, returning to the "guitar, bass, and drums" that make up a rock and roll band. Songs like Beautiful Day have become live staples, hanging right in there with the big boys like Streets, Sunday Bloody Sunday, and One. Hailed by many as U2's third masterpiece behind The Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby (and now perhaps tied with No Line...), the heart of the record perhaps lies in the more unknown songs, like In a Little While, Peace on Earth, and Kite, which is just an amazing piece of work. It begins quietly enough, but with all powerful U2 songs (exemplified with Bad), it builds into an incredible crescendo with Edge's slide guitar and Bono's voice in full force. It's a song about letting go in general, but took on special resonance when Bono's father was dying of cancer as he wrote it. Here's a performance in Dublin just a week or so after his dad died. You can see he almost loses it at the end.

#64 Song of the Decade: Vertigo
As I said before, this was made for a large audience. It's unabashedly stadium rock, pure and simple.

#36 Song of the Decade: Moment of Surrender
I absolutely loved that they picked this song so high. Consider: a) it's a song off of a release that is completely anti-today's album, meaning it's not catchy in many places or songs at all, and doesn't jump on you like the modern day album should to be successful, and b) it's not a single (...yet. It's rumored to be the next one.). Ballsy, but ultimately totally deserving spot on the list.

#9 Song of the Decade: Beautiful Day
Catchy, soaring chorus, immediately recognizable, and exactly what U2 needed to do at that moment in time. (As a side note, how could they put Rehab by Amy Whinehouse one spot ahead? That kinda baffles me...). Anyway, back to Dublin in 2001. 80,000+ people. Crowd goes nuts.


Clearly this list shows that U2 had an incredibly successful year and decade. It doesn't look like the next 10 years will be any different for them either. They're currently in NYC in between legs of their 360ยบ Tour working on some tracks for their next release (tentatively called Songs of Ascent).
Interesting interview I just read that Bono did back in 1988. I especially liked this part:

"I can't understand how people could blame starvation and famine on God. That's to suggest we live in God's world but I don't think that this is the world God created. This is the world we created and sickness is a part of it. I believe that God inspires the minds of men towards medicine and towards advances that can inoculate a whole world. You know, there's enough food in the world to feed everybody -- don't blame God for the fact that we don't share it out. That's something that I got over very early on -- the idea of how could he."

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Referees played against the Boston Celtics tonight at the Garden and once again dominated from horn to horn. Although the Celtics went a stretch without getting any bogus calls against them, the refs were able to regroup and make a huge comeback in the waning moments of the pivotal 4th quarter. Of note was the questionable call on Kendrick Perkins, who was able to box out his defender and grab the rebound. Unfortunately, Perk was unaware that this move is no longer legal. The refs whistles held strong and he was called for an over the back foul. Replays showed that Perkins was nowhere near anyone's back.

Rasheed Wallace was taken out of the game by the refs not because of anything flagrant. Oh, no. He was taken out because he actually had the fortitude to question a call. Owner of the Referees David Stern has somehow managed to take on the role of an absolute ruler in such a way that when anyone happens to confront his team members with criticism, he promptly takes their salary away and keeps it for himself. In fact, his stranglehold over several teams in the league has allowed him to be involved in more NBA Finals than any team in history.

Currently, their record over the Celtics is ambiguous, since wins by the Referees have only been counted after the NBA-ABA merger in the late 1970s. But it is without question that they have at least a .750 winning percentage over the men in green. No doubt their paths will cross again, probably as early as Sunday night, when they play another "double-team extravaganza," this time teaming up with Minnesota to take on the C's. Be sure to tune in and see how many one-sided bullshit calls are made, how many technicals get called on Rasheed for talking during the game, and how many times the momentum is killed because one player happened to touch another. Wait, was there another merger I wasn't aware of? NBA-WNBA?

FUCK YOU.

Oh, and this too...

From the same Bill Simmons article. So damn true. Kinda pisses me off that it is true.


How random are our reactions to celebrity misbehavior? You'd think there would be some general moral principle at work here, but there just isn't. Barry Bonds and Shawne Merriman allegedly did exactly the same thing: took performance-enhancing drugs that gave them a decided advantage over their peers. Bonds became a pariah. Merriman went to the Pro Bowl. Leonard Little left a party, got into his car and hit and killed a young woman. He blew .19 on the Breathalyzer. What happened to him? He did 60 days. Six years later, he was arrested for drunk driving again. He still plays for the Rams. Michael Vick did bad things to dogs and went to jail for two years and become the personification of evil. I mean, I love dogs and I was appalled by Vick's behavior. But in what universe is it a bigger crime to fight pit bulls than it is to get wasted and kill an innocent person? (Let's not even get into Plaxico Burress, whose case proves, I guess, how unexpectedly seriously New York state courts take the crime of stupidity). And now we have Tiger Woods, who fooled around on his wife and hit a fire hydrant. And in the middle of this absurd circus, the reigning King of Kings of the NBA and role model to millions is a man who not that long ago was accused of rape and lucked out of a trial because, by all appearances, he was able to buy off his accuser in a civil settlement. Huh? Maybe with your book royalties, you can endow the Sports Guy Chair of Celebrity Philosophy at Holy Cross to try to work this out.

Right. On.

SIMMONS

My most unlikely celebrity sighting ever: During the horrible Super Bowl week in Jacksonville, I was attending the Maxim party in 50-degree weather that had barely any celebrities attending because, again, they decided to hold the Super Bowl in Jacksonville. At some point during the night, I was next in line to use one of the port-a-johns, which were stacked behind the party in some seedy, dark field. So I'm standing there thinking, "This sucks," and the port-a-john door opens. Who comes out? Katie Holmes. Taller and much more beautiful than I expected. We locked eyes, and she made that cute/crooked Katie Holmes "Some weird dude is staring at me incredulously" smile that she used to flash all the time before Tom Cruise got ahold of her. Then she walked by me and headed back to the party. And I headed into the disgusting port-a-john. Not even a month later, she signed with Cruise. Whoops, I mean, she fell for Cruise. I'm saying that "Katie Holmes + port-a-john + a few weeks before Cruise got ahold of her" was at least a 92 on your scale.


Side Note: I know EXACTLY what kind of smile/look he's describing. Is that sketchy? Whatever, it just comes from years of watching Dawson's Creek. Oh yeah, and I'd completely piss my pants if that happened to me...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Baby Discipline

The beginning of this is priceless.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Holiday Friendship Bush

Got this forwarded to me in an email today. Makes ya think. Oh yeah, and fuck the Friendship Tree downtown. It's a Christmas tree. Get over it or go live in France and be your annoying politically correct selves.

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God, as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (Regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did,, only God! But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and Respectfully,

Ben Stein

Tuesday, December 1, 2009