Game 1 Suckage

That was painful. We played maybe our worst basketball of the season for the whole game...only Ray Allen had it going, KG was off all night, Rondo did jack shit, Pierce was iffy (until the 4th quarter), our bench was incompetent, the the refs made a couple of idiotic calls that ruined momentum for us, we got down by 20+ points...and yet despite all that, only lost by 9. We were able to cut their leads down to 4, 7, 8, etc. more than just a couple times despite playing like we had downs.

Any consolation can come from the fact that James Jones had a career game (actually, a historical game for the Heat), and that it simply won't happen again (at least to that extent...and I'm not just saying that optimistically--Law of Averages baby). Rondo decided after getting a couple of his shots blocked that he wouldn't assert himself and ended up being the Rondo of the end of the regular season. He made Mike Bibby look like Bill Russell out there. Who knows with him. We'll see how he responds. KG had a rough shooting night the whole game. His shot just wasn't falling, which has happened a handful of times this season. From what I remember, he usually rebounds well after such games. At least he played great D on Bosh, who I think had the same measly amount of points. Regardless, I guess if those two guys can cancel each other out, no matter how crappy they play, that's a good thing, right? Pierce was shit the first 3 quarters, but he got it going in the 4th. Unfortunately, he also got ejected then too. Sucks not having one of the best closers in the league out there when we're cutting the Heat lead down to single digits. Once again, Law of Averages says he'll be there the whole game next time and shoot better than he did, so again that's something we can look forward to.

If I was unable to see the score for the whole game, by the end of the 4th, I definitely would have thought we were down by 25 points, not 8 or 9. A loss is a loss, sure, and I'm not happy about it. But when you lose by less than 10 points when Miami SHOULD HAVE blown us away by 25+, that's something Doc and the Celtics should maybe look at and say, "Hey, if a few balls would've bounced our way...if the refs didn't think the game was about them and try to appease the home crowd with 2 atrocious calls...if we had Pierce in as our closer just as he was heating up...maybe things would've been different. Let's get off to a better start in Game 2 and play consistently." I mean, that sounds encouraging, right? Of course, I'm sure that's what Mike D'Antoni said to the Knicks after Game 1 in the first round, but whatever they actually lost that game and that's neither here nor there.

Bottom line: tough loss, awful execution, but hopefully shook the rust off. We'll be back in Game 2 and then we get some home cookin' and you know the Garden crowd will take it to the Real Housewives of South Beach.

Why is Glen Davis our go-to guy when we need a bucket in the 4th quarter?!? And why does he insist on posting up a bigger defender and shooting a turnaround fadeaway baseline jumper every time?!? You're shorter, yes, so use your goddamn body/deceptive quickness that we ALL know you have to go toward the basket and get a layup and one like you normally do?! Fuck. And the fact that KG has -4 shot attempts for the entire game is an abomination and we don't deserve to win because of that. He was on FIRE against the Spurs. Couldn't miss. The few shots he's taken, he's stroked tonight as well. We need buckets: get him the ball. It's not hard to understand. I sometimes think we forget how to play basketball or we've reverted to high school level IQ levels. It's really ridiculous. Not to mention we're playing what I really think is the 2nd most annoying team in the league behind the Lakers. And the Hawks aren't even that good! They're pretenders basically. Just a really mediocre playoff team. Zaza Pachulia is one of my most hated players, and HE'S not good either! But he thinks he is, which makes it that much more irritating. He's one of those "scream like a motherfucker when he grabs a rebound in traffic at ANY point in the game" type players (Noah is another who does that). If someone can pass it to Ray Allen more than twice again, that'd be nice to. This is what I just don't get sometimes. We have such great offensive firepower, but refuse to go to it. Instead, we're currently relying on Big Baby to hit crucial shots (JUMP SHOTS), when he CLEARLY doesn't have it tonight. And he's not one of those shooters shoot players. Not even close. Stop being Socialists by spreading the wealth. Call out a play. Execute it. KG: post up and back that European motherfucker down. Pierce: step backs, drives, the usual. Ray: come off screens and knock shit down. Rondo: drive the lane, get layups, get to the line. Force these assholes to play defense.

Thanks, I just needed to vent. Now I'll finish watching this horseshit.

Dear Celtics...

Dear Celtics,

You guys are really starting to piss me off. I don't care if you've got some kind of agenda like just getting healthy for the postseason, but guess what? First of all, you're killing your starters playing them a ton of minutes as you continuously blow big leads/try to claw your way back into games. Second, these games still somewhat matter. As we've seen from last year, home court is kind of a big deal. Either focus on the health issues or on getting the top seed. "Oh, let's sit out Rondo because of a damn pinky. Oh, now he can play again." "Oh, let's shut Shaq down until April." "Oh, let's play all the new guys we got!", "Oh, let's use a shortened bench of 2 guys while Arroyo, Pavlovic, and whoever else we have on this mish-mash of a team sit in their warmups the whole game." You can't do both.

Look. You're professional basketball players. You're getting paid millions of dollars to play a game you love. Show it. Show us you care about these dumb games against mediocre talent. Hibbert went off tonight like he was Wilt Fucking Chamberlain. You know what you used to do? Amped up the defense and shut that bastard down. You know what you've been doing recently? Playing like you're in the WNBA D-League. All these games are winnable. Where's the desire? There's that damn commercial with everyone saying, "It's about passion....It's about desire...It's about blah blah." Yeah. You guys look like you don't give a fuck. Not cool with me or the entire Celtics tradition. It's not okay that you bone every shot you take and get yourselves into a hole only to claw your way back to give yourselves a chance to win it (which, lately, you fail to do anyway). It's also not okay to make every shot you take to start a game and then start employing the Clogged Toilet offense. Play like the Celtics or get off the damn court.

I'm a Celtics fan through and through, but when you don't play like the "Celtics," I'm not a fan of you. I won't root for you blindly. And I won't shrug my shoulders and say, "Eh, that's okay! We'll get 'em next game! I love you unconditionally and you can't do anything wrong! Even if you play like inconsistent nancies, you still deserve my undivided praise!" No. Sometimes you NBA players need a kick in the ass and I'll be the first to give it to you. If you're a fan of a team, it doesn't mean you need to like what they're doing and support them without reason. To believe in them simply isn't enough sometimes.

If you deserve to be booed/called out, then we'll give it to you full force. Because we'll cheer just as loudly if you play like the Celtics should.

Sincerely,

Bono

I fucking hate losing to teams that have no business being in the building with us. Really? Spencer Hawes lights us up in the first half? Where's the defensive effort on him?

Rondo needs to stop trying to be a scorer and do what he does best: pass the damn ball. All of these run the shot clock down and taking awkward jump shots does not help (even if he made half of them, I don't care--not his game). Get your teammates involved (see: Ray Allen).

Also, why the FUCK is Sasha Fucking Pavlovic guarding Andre Iguodala in a one possession game with under a minute left to play? PUT PAUL PIERCE ON HIM. Absolutely ridiculous. Oh, and then we can even foul any of the Sixers once we cut the lead to 3 with about 10 seconds left. That should NEVER happen. We looked like a bunch of assholes.

I hate this team when we don't play up to our potential. Pisses me off. When we're good, we're unbeatable. But when we have these unforgivable lapses all over the place that don't even get corrected out of the half, it's like, why even come out on the court to play tonight? Jesus, put in the effort...put a hand up...learn from the mistakes you've already made. If Hawes has the hot hand, make sure you don't leave his ass open!!!! It's not rocket science!

Some losses don't nearly piss me off as much as others, but this one is a bitch. We have a really easy schedule to close the season out and need to take advantage with Chi City breathing down our necks. L's to the Clippers at home and then the Sixers?!?!? I don't care if they're "resurgent" or if Doug Collins is the second coming. We're the fucking Celtics with the best record in the East and we can't do shit about these mediocre teams. Stop being nances by playing down to your competition. Man the fuck up and play Celtic basketball.

Biggest Win For LA? TNT Would Have You Think So...

I shouldn't even bother to blog about this because the loss isn't really a big deal when you think about it. Here's why:

Let's first take a look at the lineups for the game tonight.
For the Celtics we had:

Ray Allen
Rajon Rondo
Kevin Garnett
Kendrick Perkins
Paul Pierce (even though he was visibly weak due to the flu)

Glen Davis
Nate Robinson (injured early)
Von Wafer
Avery Bradley

The Lakers had:

Bryant
Gasol
Bynum
Fisher
Artest

Odom
Blake
Brown
Walton
and 3-4 random people I've never heard of, but at least they had bodies to put out on the floor if necessary.

So with Robinson out and Pierce not a big factor due to illness, the Celtics trotted out a whopping 7 healthy players. And even THAT is debatable because Perk's probably not 100% yet. So, let's say 6 and 1/2. And we lost by only 6 points.

Second, based on that, it just becomes more obvious that the Celtics are in a completely different league. Throughout the first half, we were fresh and full of energy. We built up a 15 point lead (8 by halftime) and it would have almost certainly continued that pattern had we had fresh legs to sub in for our starters. Unfortunately, as we all saw, this wasn't the case, and by the time the 4th quarter came around, everyone was winded, and rightfully so. I mean, just look back to the game in LA. We blew them away in the 4th and we were healthier then than now (the Lakers, meanwhile, were the same). So, if A + B = C, that proves that when even a when we're just a LITTLE BIT healthier, we're far better. Again, the Lakers essentially scraped by with a 6 point victory tonight.

Here's a couple more points of interest:


Boston is 11-6 against the so-called "elite teams." (For my money, San Antonio, Dallas, LA, Miami, Chicago, Atlanta, OKC, and Orlando.)

LA is 2-6. And yes, I counted tonight's win for them even though we were absolutely decimated.

The Celtics have had one of the hardest schedules in the league in the first half of the season. I'm too lazy to go and look at our strength-of-schedule and all that percentages, but just look above. We've played 17 games against teams above .600 so far. The Lakers have played 8. I went through their schedule and results and they didn't play an elite team until almost A MONTH after the season started! The Celtics started against Miami.

By the way, know what really pisses me off? How the Lakers play in the same arena as the Clippers. It's actually kinda unfair when you think about it. When they play the Clippers "on the road" it's not really a "road" game. They're playing at home and most of the fans there are Lakers fans to begin with. Completely takes home court advantage away from it. It's also unfair for the rest of the league. All teams play 41 games on the road, but the Lakers really only play 39. I know I'm being nitpicky, but wouldn't you like the Celtics to play 2 fewer games on the road and add 2 more to play in Boston? Actually, let's take this a bit further. There are 4 teams that play in California: the Warriors, Kings, Lakers, and Clippers. Now, sure, California is kind of a big state and all, but FOUR TEAMS?! And it's not like you're going from the northernmost point to the border of Mexico here. The plane ride is apparently about 1:30. I dunno, this just pisses me off because it's all in the same state/area and the travel seems not nearly as taxing as other NBA teams have to do.

While we're here, I also want to point out that LA used to be in Minneapolis and won a few championships there. Why do they count towards LA's total?? Do we say, "Here they are! You're 1-time NBA Champion Thunder!!!!" just because that same franchise won a title back in Seattle? No. The Lakers don't have 16 titles. They have 11.


Anyway, the point of this was just to show that tonight's loss is essentially meaningless because of our lack of players. Meanwhile, LA is all healthy and beat us by two possessions. Yeah. Nice job.

Bono's Daughter

Why am I posting a random music video by a random band? Well, the girl in the video is none other than Bono's daughter, Eve Hewson. And she's pretty smokin' too, am I right?! Unless I'm being too biased because Bono's her dad...but I think I'm not and that she's actually kinda hot. Brunette + blue eyes. Word. Plus, she's approximately my age too! Off the top of my head, I think she was born in '91, so that makes her...what?, 20-ish? Totally fair game. I actually had a dream last night that we met and I pretended that I didn't know her dad was Bono so that she wouldn't think I wanted to date her just to get close to him. Anyway, I kinda forget how it all went, but I remember waking up happy, so I guess it all worked out...? I DO remember that I was trying to save everyone from like evil aliens/machines trying to destroy everything. So perhaps that bonded us. Dreams are fun because they take a completely unrealistic situation (not the alien machines...me and Bono's daughter) and make it "real," if that makes sense. Ahhhh, good times. Maybe someday...

John F. Dean, "Driving to Midnight Mass"

Five-thousand million years ago, this Earth lay heaving in a mass of rocks and fire
Wasting, burdened with its emptiness.
Tonight, when arthropods and worms and sponges have given way to dinosaurs
And dinosaurs to working, wandering apes
Homo erectus have given away to sapiens and he to homo sapiens sapiens

Look down on Dublin from the hills around
And lights could be a million Christmas trees, still firs standing
While in the sky a glow, as if of dawn
This day a light shall shine on us
The Lord is born within our city
Look along to the river toward O'Connell bridge
The lights, the neon signs, all stream on water like breathed-on strips of tinsel
All is still.

11:30, pubs begin to empty. Men stop to argue and say the name of Jesus.
For those who have known darkness, who have now seen a wondrous light,
Those who have dwelled in unlit streets, to them the light has come.
Tonight, few cars go by.
The blocks of flats with windowed plastic trees and fairy lights stand watching for a miracle.
Here are no dells where fairies might appear.
Out from the dark, an ambulance comes speeding, sickly blue lights search in siren-still.
The mystery of the night ticks slowly on
It will pass and leave memories of friends and small, half-welcome things.
In him was life, in him life was the light of men.
For neither prehistoric swamps nor trilobites,
The mesozoic birds, Neanderthal nor modern man had ever dreamt or seen what was our God.

The shops are gay with lights and bright things,
All save funeral homes--they dare not advertise their presence
As midnight peals and organs start to play, two cars meet headlong in a haze of drink.
The crash flicks into silence.
Pain crawls like slime through blood and into limbs.
God is revealed: a baby, naked crying in a crib.
In the church porches and out along the grounds, teenagers laugh and swear, smoking, watching girls.
So, once more, Christmas trails away,
Its meaning moves back into the mist and the march of time.